<table><tr><th>From: </th><th></th></tr><tr><td>Sent</td><td>Thur 12/2/2010 3:48:24 AM</td></tr><tr><td>Subject</td><td>Report # 145: apt move</td></tr></table>

Hallo kids!

Moving in to my new place was like moving back with the parents! Coming home late the first night, I was trying my best not to make the huge iron-gate make too much noise in this posh villa area. I fumbled with the keys, because the gate has to be locked at all times. Then I sneaked in to the villa not letting the heavy door slam too loudly. Finally back in my apt I felt homefree. Just like living with the parents!

Not sure why I was sneaking in since I'm the only tenant! The manager asked if I wanted the watchman sleep outside my door since I'm alone. Not sure which is scarier: having the watchman sleep outside my door or being alone in this huge villa.

This area is so new it'll take the bloody phone/cable company at least a month to draw the cables!

The area is called Al Nahayan Camp because it used to be the military camp and named after the ruler. An ignorant, happy-go-lucky American colleague of mine cheerily said: "that sounds like a labor camp!"

I'm sure the ruler would not have appreciated that.

It's supposed to be the poshest area in Abu Dhabi now (except for the palaces). It's all huge, new villas being built.

I had the moving company come and I will always do that!!! Amazing!!! Six guys came and it went so fast and they did an amazing job! The only thing they didn't like was that I was trying to carry things and unpack: "Mam, PLEASE, don't do anything!" It was not about me being a woman, it was about me messing up their system. Also being annoying: "are you going to wrap the sofa? Can you disassemble and assemble -"

"Mam, this is our job! We do this every day!"

It's national day today, the UAE turns 39. A day when the Emiratis drive their SUVs up and down the Corniche, honk and foam each other. Big pictures of the old sheikh and the flag are plastered on the SUVs.

Be well!

Sent from my Blackberry

From:

Date: Tue, 23 Nov 2010 22:23:05 +0400 Subject: Report # 144: Religious police

Hallo ya all!

My real estate agent told me that the landlord only wants to bring in Europeans. Why would that be a good thing??? Why would I want my neighbors to be some bottom-of-the-barrel Brits who drinks, are rowdy, and brings home hookers? How do you glorify that?

I spent 1.5 hours screaming at the monopoly cable / internet / phone company for no connectivity. Then I realized that a cable had fallen out of the cable box... 0oopsie... Since I don't believe in admitting to defeat I yelled they better send me a technician soon to fix the problem...!

UAE also had its first hail for this season.

Due to safety reasons, some speed limits within Abu Dhabi will be INCREASED from 60 km / hr to 80 km / hr. This will make the roads safer because some people actually keep the speeding limits and this makes it dangerous! Only in the UAE...

An acquaintance of mine who is VIP flight attendant (only flies private) was in Saudi and was caught by the Mutawas, the religious police, for talking to a guy! A Saudi man came up to her in the mall and asked for the time. That was enough.

The Mutawas had him standing up against the wall for an hour. My acquaintance was let go of after a long time, but only because she had a visa from the highest level of the royal family. She said it was very scary drama. If the Saudi police takes one, they can put one in jail and throw away the key. Who will ever find you?

I'm so disturbed right now.

I think I've fallen into the career which utilizes my skills the best and I do what I do best: entertain. I entertain our faculty candidates. However, I do not give them the best picture of Abu Dhabi: "when you move here you will be fat and bald. You will also age before your time because the skin dries up and you become an alcoholic due to depression."

When my boss asks me why we have problems attracting faculty I give my innocent puppy face...

Stay well.